Releasing Tough Love: Embracing Softness and Reclaiming Your POWER!

Last night, I sat at a beautiful restaurant surrounded by the women I love—my daughter, my niece, and my cousin. Each of us in our 30s and 50s, and all sharing the same zodiac sign, sat in a circle of reflection and truth. It wasn’t just a meal—it was a communion of hearts, a space where healing words poured out as naturally as the wine in our glasses.

As we spoke, I found myself laying down a weight I hadn’t realized I was still carrying. For years—longer than I care to count—I had unknowingly put myself last. What I once thought was selflessness, I now see was a form of control. By minimizing my own needs, I never had to ask too much of anyone. I told myself it was strength, resilience, even love. But in reality, it was self-abandonment wrapped in the armor of “tough love.”

It was my daughter who named it so clearly: “Mom, you have released tough love.” At first, I didn’t fully understand. But she explained with gentle wisdom that tough love was more than just a parenting style—it was a mindset. It was the expectation that life must always be hard, that love must come with struggle, and that accepting less than I deserve was somehow noble. It was the default setting of always putting others first, wearing self-sacrifice as a badge of honor.

But here I am, at 54, shedding that skin. I am stepping into my power and leaning into softness—into a new form of strength that is gentle yet unyielding in its self-honoring. I am asking for more from the people I love. Not in a way that demands or takes, but in a way that allows. I am allowing myself to be considered, allowing myself to be met with tenderness, allowing myself to be loved with the same depth I so freely give.

Releasing the need for tough love is not about becoming weak—it is about becoming whole. It is about shifting from survival mode into thriving. It is about recognizing that I am worthy of reciprocity, of softness, and of relationships that hold me as carefully as I hold them.

For so long, I carried a belief that my ability to endure made me strong. But true strength is knowing when to put the armor down. It is being brave enough to be vulnerable. It is trusting that love doesn’t have to be earned through suffering.

So, to the women walking this same path—releasing old patterns, shedding the need for struggle, and leaning into ease—know this: You are allowed to receive. You are allowed to be cherished. You are allowed to let life be gentle with you.

And when you do, you will find that the softness you once feared will be the very thing that makes you feel most powerful.

Learn more about Felicia HERE