Even the best relationships are bound to have moments of tension and if we’re not careful, the way we handle these situations can harm what we have worked so hard to achieve. Acknowledging the other person’s feelings in addition to voicing your own can go a long way toward healing a rift. It’s usually best if you can speak openly and honestly about your feelings face-to-face. But what if you’re afraid you’ll become too emotional to discuss the situation rationally or you find you are interrupted too often to get your point across? Try writing a letter! Letters can be an excellent way to communicate when you’re upset because 1) writing can help you sort through your feelings and clarify them and 2) writing lets you express your point of view without interruption. You can give your letter to the recipient to be read later in a non-stressful environment. Or you can actually read the letter aloud to the other person, requesting that you not be interrupted until you are finished. The silent treatment can make matters worse and does not allow the relationship to grow. Experience the power of the pen!
Certified Professional Life Coach
New Leaf Coaching, LLC
I know this has been a rough year and the last few days have been very difficult for many. I’d like to offer a (hopefully helpful and very humble) spiritually based perspective… an approach in dealing with these times of intense 3-D polarity to find our way to internal peace. Take it or leave it – I just hope it helps in some way.
Why focus on internal peace instead of the external situation? Internal peace spreads into external peace when those around us learn to follow our example. When we hold that energy, it provides space and permission for others to do the same.
I was in meditation about all of this, and a vision of a wave came to me. As I analyzed the wave, I observed that the wave could be really great if we are riding on top and seeing all of the beauty and the bigger picture of all-that-is. Compassion and wisdom thrive in that space.
I also noticed that if we are pulled into the undertow of that wave, it can get chaotic, confusing and difficult very quickly and then it takes everything we have to keep from drowning. This is where our limited earthly 3-D perspectives and judgments rule our experience.
Do you ever wonder how other really wonderful people can have such dramatically different points of view? Well, it’s because we have all had very different experiences and have individual perspectives. Literally, no two people see the world exactly the same way. Some perspectives are more extreme than others, but they are all just points of view… mine, yours, theirs… we are creating a group consciousness that has become quite chaotic. This is because we are putting our collective and individual energies into the undertow.
The word undertow means: any strong current below the surface, moving in a direction different from that of the surface current. Higher consciousness, compassion and peace flow in one direction on the surface, and that which prevents it flows in the undertow.
I truly believe that tough things happen for a deep and ultimately beautiful purpose. Chaos is sometimes necessary to spur growth and healing, and it seems that the more healing we need, the more chaos is needed to stimulate that healing. It doesn’t mean that we need to get caught up in the undertow of the chaos and we certainly don’t need to add energy to it. We can keep putting our energies to the surface and rise above the chaos the best we can, helping others to do the same.
So, I encourage everyone to take a look at ways in which you are being caught in the undertow. How are you responding to this chaos? Are you adding chaotic energy by swimming in the under-current or are you helping to neutralize the chaos by rising to the surface? We all have triggers on some level – pay attention to your triggers. That is what needs healing inside of you. This life seems to be more about what the triggers are bringing up to heal than it is about the trigger itself. And, now is the perfect time for this healing to occur for and within all of us.
Let me know if I can help in any way – I am here for you. Energy work is a powerful way to heal the triggers that are being experienced. Meditation and exercise are also helpful, depending on how you prefer to process things. Remember, the undertow doesn’t have to control you.
Change is an inevitable part of life. But unlike the rest of nature, we humans can lose momentum and get stuck. Sometimes our vision of the future is not clear enough to motivate us. And sometimes we get so comfortable where we are that we don’t want to risk a change. But sooner or later we become so aware that we need a change that we become dissatisfied with the way things are, even though we feel helpless to make that change.
That’s where a good plan can help get you started! I’m talking about the kind of plan that includes a list of actions that you commit to with dates when you need to complete those actions. A good plan will start with a concrete objective so you know for sure that completion of the plan will bring you what you‘re looking for. The plan will take into account any obstacles that you might encounter and will be flexible enough to work around them. It will allow ample time for preparation and contemplation. And a good plan will arrange the actions so they can be completed by the time you want to experience the end result.
Some of us have difficulty generating these plans that are so vital to us. And even if we are good at planning, we sometimes need help following through with the plan. That’s where a good life coach can make all the difference. With the use of skilled listening, perceptive observation and insightful questions, a life coach can help you identify where you want to go and how you want to get there. She will give you carefully designed feedback to increase your motivation and confidence. And she will hold you accountable to the actions you have committed to.
We cannot rely on luck itself to arrange our future to our liking. Dissatisfaction is your cue that it’s time to take action and begin to create for yourself the life you want to lead. So go ahead and get started on your plan! If you’re not sure where to start, contact me and we’ll get things rolling. There’s no time like the present!
Certified Professional Life Coach
New Leaf Coaching, LLC
Lately I’ve been contemplating beliefs – specifically my long-held and very personal beliefs. We recently had a wonderful Avatar® workshop at Nourishing Journey on Belief Management, and it got me thinking about things on a whole different level. What is a belief? What do I believe in? How strongly do I feel about those beliefs? Where did they come from? Are they really my beliefs or someone else’s? Am I afraid to change perspectives and take on new beliefs that better align with me?
Many of my beliefs run very deep. We all have beliefs about those topics that are best not discussed over dinner, such as politics, religion or if Mom’s homemade meal tastes as good as she thinks it does. (Yes, the tastiness of the meal should never be questioned!) What I find incredible is that so many of us are willing to give our lives or end relationships for our beliefs. If we take some time and realize that our beliefs come from a perspective, and that our perspective may or may not be based in truth, maybe we can be more accepting and understanding of one another.
Those who know me know that I spend a great deal of time on self-improvement. When you really want to create change in your life, you must always focus on improving you. As I worked on my list of beliefs in different areas of life, I had some realizations that stunned me. Here is what I learned about my beliefs.
- Many of my beliefs don’t help me in any way. In fact, they block me from achieving all that I am capable of. I limit myself by focusing on the beliefs I’ve created out of fear. To enable change and growth, there needs to be a feeling of boundless expansion. Hmmm, yes… I have too many limiting beliefs.
- Some of my beliefs are in fact FALSE – especially about me. We are always our own harshest critics. How can we expect to be our very best when we tell ourselves we can’t be? I know I’m not alone here! WE are usually the road block we are experiencing.
- For quite a few of my beliefs, I’m not sure how they came to be – is it the experience that created the belief or the belief that created the experience? I used to think that it was the experience that created the belief in most cases, but I’m seeing things differently and it’s very empowering. I have known about the law of attraction and how you bring things into your life with thoughts and emotions, but I never really took inventory of my beliefs quite like this.
- Many of my beliefs are indoctrinated despite my efforts to question them for the last few years. We all have indoctrinated beliefs that we take on because we live in a society. We are taught certain “truths” that we accept without question. However, just because society believes something to be true, it doesn’t mean it is true. We can all come up with great examples of a widely accepted belief that society held many years ago that we think is insane now that we look back at it. What is it that society does today that should be questioned now instead of in the future?
With the arrival of 2012, what areas of your life do you want to improve? Whether it is health, career, spiritual connection, or really any desire… your beliefs are a very important part of your goal, and they will probably be your biggest hurdle. I challenge you to take an inventory of your beliefs and see where it leads you. If you have already done some of this work, what have you discovered about your beliefs? This is such a great topic and I would love to hear your feedback!
Michele Beisler is the Licensed Avatar Master who gave the workshop on Belief Management at Nourishing Journey, and she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Avatar is a great program for anyone wanting to grasp a different perspective. Here are some links to find out more:
Avatar® is the registered trademark of Star’s Edge International. All rights reserved.
How can you get your life together if your living space is out of balance? Your home is always sharing important messages about where you have become stuck. When you are in alignment energetically with your home, your life flows with ease. As a Soul Full SpacesTM Consultant, I help clients see the connection between their physical spaces and their emotional health and overall well-being. My work involves space clearing with sound, smudging, essential oils and intention; dowsing to identify energetic drains and power spots; assessing the most advantageous use of directional energy; and advising on the proper placement of objects. Here are some insights from my consulting experiences.
What you see when you enter your home establishes your emotional outlook and your approach to life.
A female client wanted to support her ability to move forward and get her life moving again after an extended grieving period. One of the first things I check is what you see when you step through the front door. This image is seen every day, sometimes several times a day, so it has a huge impact on your emotional and mental state. In this client’s home she had a peace lily on a small table in the entrance hallway. Behind that was an empty wall so the peace lily was the first and only thing you saw as you entered her home. Peace lilies are often given in sympathy during mourning. The client confirmed that the plant was received when a family member passed away. Every day this beautiful plant reminded my client of the death she was still grieving. My advice was to donate the peace lily, making sure she had released any emotional energy attached to it. She also needed to replace the peace lily with a symbol that showed moving forward and that created a warm, positive vibration. She eventually moved an inspiring piece of artwork to the empty wall the door faced.
If you cannot view the bedroom door from your bed, you may continuously face unexpected problems.
Another client was having financial difficulty and marriage problems. Dowsing showed her bedroom to be the biggest financial energy drain. Her bed was positioned behind a secondary wall so she could not see the door at all which was behind her. Often, when your bed is positioned where you cannot see the door, it shows you do not want to confront issues. In this case, the door was behind her so problems had a way of sneaking up on her. She was advised to turn the bed around to face the door so she could take better control of her life. She made the shift and reported that this one change made a tremendous difference in her outlook and made her feel “lighter.”
Be aware of and minimize energy drains.
Energy drains are areas of your space that are draining your physical, emotional and spiritual energy. They may be caused by any number of factors including clutter, geopathic stress, EMF influence, negative vortexes, or objects imprinted with detrimental emotional energy. When a client moved into her new apartment, dowsing determined the bathroom as a significant energy drain. The client explained that the last tenant was an elderly woman who had collapsed on the bathroom floor and spent many hours in agony before anyone heard her cries and came to her rescue. We did a thorough space clearing and suggested that she work on charging the area with positive energy in any number of ways: setting a positive intention, adding living energy, putting out a bowl of sea salt, and using frequent sound clearing.
Watch the symbolism of your photographs and artwork. They should be used to enhance whatever you wish to manifest.
A couple had the goal of better communication and more romance. The interior design of the home was tastefully and meticulously done, however, the bedroom was disappointingly sparse. The colors were drab and there were only two photos of the couple in cheap frames. The care in decorating the rest of the home had not extended to the bedroom and that was the basis of the problem – this couple had focused all their energies on other aspects of life and had forgotten about romance. They were advised to put photos and artwork in beautiful frames. Photos should depict the couple during a happy time and artwork should have a romantic theme. Other suggestions included adding a vase of fresh flowers and using a deeper color palette overall for a richer sensory experience.
Want to learn more? Come to our workshop!