Even the best relationships are bound to have moments of tension and if we’re not careful, the way we handle these situations can harm what we have worked so hard to achieve. Acknowledging the other person’s feelings in addition to voicing your own can go a long way toward healing a rift. It’s usually best if you can speak openly and honestly about your feelings face-to-face. But what if you’re afraid you’ll become too emotional to discuss the situation rationally or you find you are interrupted too often to get your point across? Try writing a letter! Letters can be an excellent way to communicate when you’re upset because 1) writing can help you sort through your feelings and clarify them and 2) writing lets you express your point of view without interruption. You can give your letter to the recipient to be read later in a non-stressful environment. Or you can actually read the letter aloud to the other person, requesting that you not be interrupted until you are finished. The silent treatment can make matters worse and does not allow the relationship to grow. Experience the power of the pen!
Certified Professional Life Coach
New Leaf Coaching, LLC
The beginning of the New Year can be an excellent time to make changes in your life! And resolutions are a great way to get the ball rolling. Give yourself the very best chance of succeeding with the changes you are seeking with the following tips.
Don’t overwhelm yourself
Though we may want and expect immediate change, we are less likely to succeed with our resolutions if they are dramatic. Just as habits form over a lifetime, new behaviors will need time to take root. Start small and set reasonable goals for yourself that you believe you can attain and work your way up. Think of your goals as seeds that will need time and nourishment to grow!
Focus on what you want
When we want to change something, we often focus on ridding ourselves of a particular behavior or situation. But it can be far more motivating to focus on what you want than what you don’t want. In other words, we simply find it more inspiring to do something positive than to avoid something negative. For example, instead of trying not to overeat, we can strive to create healthy and satisfying meals. Instead of trying to stop overspending, we can aim to create a sensible budget and adhere to it. Focus on the positive and take it from there!
According to a recent psychological study, people who are explicit about their resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who aren’t. Small successes can be strong motivators for us to continue our quest. But being vague about our resolutions makes our successes vague. So maximize your feelings of success by being super-specific about what you want to achieve and make sure you recognize and celebrate each and every small success!
Need a little help getting where you want to go? Consider working with a life coach to create the changes you are seeking! Learn more at www.newleafcoaching.net.
Do you know someone who always seems to look at the bright side of life? If so, chances are that this person is a positive thinker. And recent research indicates that such people are healthier, less stressed, better able to cope in times of adversity and generally happier than those who aren’t positive thinkers.
Positive thinking is a mental attitude in which you choose to focus on the possibility of good outcomes, using your energy to act in ways that are more likely to make those outcomes occur. And when bad things happen, the positive thinker typically takes action to resolve the problem instead of giving up hope. In this way, the positive thinker learns to believe in his/her own abilities to effect change, increasing self-esteem.
How can we become positive thinkers? We can simply choose to engage in positive thinking from now on. But those of us who have been in the habit of negative thinking will need a little help. One thing that can help is to spend more time with positive thinkers. Another way is to subscribe to a publication that presents you with ways of thinking more positively. One such publication is my monthly e-newsletter, The Leaflet.
As a life coach, my goal is to improve my clients’ quality of life. So it’s no surprise that the focus of The Leaflet is on positive thinking and growth. Each issue contains articles, tips, quotes and reminders to help you appreciate who you are and help you be all you can be. You can see my latest newsletter and subscribe here: http://www.newleafcoaching.net/Newsletter/Newsletter.html . Sign up today – I’m positive you’ll be glad you did!
Change is an inevitable part of life. But unlike the rest of nature, we humans can lose momentum and get stuck. Sometimes our vision of the future is not clear enough to motivate us. And sometimes we get so comfortable where we are that we don’t want to risk a change. But sooner or later we become so aware that we need a change that we become dissatisfied with the way things are, even though we feel helpless to make that change.
That’s where a good plan can help get you started! I’m talking about the kind of plan that includes a list of actions that you commit to with dates when you need to complete those actions. A good plan will start with a concrete objective so you know for sure that completion of the plan will bring you what you‘re looking for. The plan will take into account any obstacles that you might encounter and will be flexible enough to work around them. It will allow ample time for preparation and contemplation. And a good plan will arrange the actions so they can be completed by the time you want to experience the end result.
Some of us have difficulty generating these plans that are so vital to us. And even if we are good at planning, we sometimes need help following through with the plan. That’s where a good life coach can make all the difference. With the use of skilled listening, perceptive observation and insightful questions, a life coach can help you identify where you want to go and how you want to get there. She will give you carefully designed feedback to increase your motivation and confidence. And she will hold you accountable to the actions you have committed to.
We cannot rely on luck itself to arrange our future to our liking. Dissatisfaction is your cue that it’s time to take action and begin to create for yourself the life you want to lead. So go ahead and get started on your plan! If you’re not sure where to start, contact me and we’ll get things rolling. There’s no time like the present!
Certified Professional Life Coach
New Leaf Coaching, LLC